Top 10 Reasons the US Women’s Gymnastics Team is not the Fab Five

It was inevitable. The last Olympic gold medal winning American women’s gymnastics team had their own nickname – The Magnificent Seven, from the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta.

As the media struggled to give the 2012 team a moniker, Sports Illustrated made the team of five their cover girls, leading many to dub them the Fab Five.

College basketball fans are well aware that there is another Fab Five, the highly touted freshman of the University of Michigan that took the basketball world by storm in the early 90’s.

The odd thing is that, outside of the number of stars on the team, the US women’s gymnastics team has almost nothing in common with the Wolverines’ heralded team of freshman starters. Here are the top ten reasons the US Women’s Gymnastics Team is not the Fab Five.

10. No one on the team asserted their uniforms started a huge cultural trend, even though they were copied from a rival.

9. People will actually remember Kyla Ross was part of the team, unlike Ray Jackson.

6. Jordyn Wieber somehow avoided calling a non-existent timeout, ensuring victory for the other team.

7. Aly Raisman’s parents excitedly cheered her on, while never receiving money from Ed Martin.

6. Unlike Jimmy King, no one on the gymnastics team will ever be traded for Popeye Jones.

5. Gabby Douglas won’t be calling anyone an “Uncle Tom” any time soon.

4. McKayla Maroney’s sideline glare and jumping ability are more intimidating than Juwan Howard’s.

3. US Gymnastics will not be banned from the next Olympics because of the women’s gymnastics team.

2. Their gold medal won’t be forfeited in a few years due to their violating their amateur status during the Olympics.

1. They actually won something of value after all the hype. Olympic and World Championship gold tends to trump no conference or national titles.

Is laughing at Michigan’s Fab Five one thing that can unite Duke and UNC fans, since both schools prevented the Wolverines from winning a title and kept the NCAA from having to tear down a national championship banner?

There was one team competing in the women’s gymnastics that reminded me of Michigan. The points separating the US and Russia teams also brought back memories of another Michigan game.

If I were the US Women’s Gymnastics Team, I would ask for a different nickname.

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