Tobacco Road Blues

Sport Man Toe Episode 16: Stupid Bikes and the Cold Kentucky Rage

Shane — Thu, 16 May 2013 14:31:45 +0000

Spike is road-dogging this week, cruising outside of Butte, Montana on the way back to Seattle, so Shane phoned him up for a man-to-man about the state of sports. As we remember it, there’s discussion of dudes who are biking the Tour de France without pedals, the fun Kentucky internet reaction to Andrew Wiggins’ decision, how David Stern is sadistic toward Seattle. Spike also takes the next logical step in his increasingly absurd trivia contests.

For extra audio/video/picture mentioned on the show, and the episode itself, check our Tumblr: Sport Man Toe

Subscribe on iTunes:

Just click “view in iTunes” once you reach this link, and then ‘subscribe for free.’ If you liked the show and want to write a positive review, that would be a huge help.

Here are some other things:

Download the mp3 of this episode directly

RSS Feed

Here’s how to get in touch with us:

Podcast Twitter: @SportManToe

Spike Twitter: @SpikeFriedman

Shane twitter: @ShaneRyanHere

Email us your weird sports stories: Sportmantoe@gmail.com

Voicemail/Text: 765-38-SPORT (765-387-7678)

Shane — Wed, 15 May 2013 14:43:21 +0000

Episode 15: Beards are Sexy, Kobe and his Mum

Shane — Tue, 07 May 2013 15:29:59 +0000

It’s a stride-hitting episode, with talk about sexy beards, Kobe’s Freudian mother issues, the Japanese Olympics, the Vinny Testaverde movie, and why James Dolan is the best sports owner in New York.

For extra audio/video/picture mentioned on the show, and the episode itself, check our Tumblr: Sport Man Toe

Subscribe on iTunes:

Just click “view in iTunes” once you reach this link, and then ‘subscribe for free.’ If you liked the show and want to write a positive review, that would be a huge help.

Here are some other things:

Download the mp3 of this episode directly

RSS Feed

Here’s how to get in touch with us:

Podcast Twitter: @SportManToe

Spike Twitter: @SpikeFriedman

Shane twitter: @ShaneRyanHere

Email us your weird sports stories: Sportmantoe@gmail.com

Voicemail/Text: 765-38-SPORT (765-387-7678)

Sport Man Toe Episode 14: Sadist Coaches, Humanist Biters

Shane — Wed, 01 May 2013 17:12:04 +0000

Ep. 14 is in the can, and today we’re talking about Jason Collins, sadistic coaches in Green Bay, why Luis Suarez’s bite was a blow for humanity, and the pain of being Seattle. Lots of fun.

For extra audio/video/picture mentioned on the show, and the episode itself, check our Tumblr: Sport Man Toe

Subscribe on iTunes:

Just click “view in iTunes” once you reach this link, and then ‘subscribe for free.’ If you liked the show and want to write a positive review, that would be a huge help.

Here are some other things:

Download the mp3 of this episode directly

RSS Feed

Here’s how to get in touch with us:

Podcast Twitter: @SportManToe

Spike Twitter: @SpikeFriedman

Shane twitter: @ShaneRyanHere

Email us your weird sports stories: Sportmantoe@gmail.com

Voicemail/Text: 765-38-SPORT (765-387-7678)

Crazy Sorority Letter as Performed by a Super Positive Version of Rebecca Martinson in a Commons Room

Shane — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 00:47:34 +0000

That title pretty much says it all. I have no idea why I did this. I improvised for ten minutes off the actual letter, with the premise that it’s actually a meeting in a commons room and not an email at all, and you might be wondering: Was it worth it? I would say definitely not. If you listen to this, I apologize in advance.

Sport Man Toe Episode 12: Goat Heads and Minor Ghosts

Shane — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 13:48:53 +0000

Today we’re talking about men who leave goat heads at the steps of famous ballparks, men who get stuck in mud for 30 hours and adapt quickly to their new lives, men who force paying spectators to change clothes at threat of expulsion, and ghosts of currently living sports personalities with the ability to shrink your hands for several minutes. Did things get weird? Yes. Yes, they got a little weird. Episode contains an infuriating round of Olympic trivia.

For extra audio/video/picture mentioned on the show, and the episode itself, check our Tumblr: Sport Man Toe

Subscribe on iTunes:

Just click “view in iTunes” once you reach this link, and then ‘subscribe for free.’ If you liked the show and want to write a positive review, that would be a huge help.

Here are some other things:

Download the mp3 of this episode directly

RSS Feed

Here’s how to get in touch with us:

Podcast Twitter: @SportManToe

Spike Twitter: @SpikeFriedman

Shane twitter: @ShaneRyanHere

Email us your weird sports stories: Sportmantoe@gmail.com

Voicemail/Text: 765-38-SPORT (765-387-7678)

Sport Man Toe Episode 11: Is Mike Rice a Hero?

Shane — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:12:23 +0000

The boys are back in town, podcasting and cracking wise. Today we talk about Mike Rice, leader of men, and various other topics such as Olympic 3-on-3 basketball and whether or not Shane as at the Final Four. One thing is that Spike invented an Olympic trivia game, giving Shane a shot at revenge after the “Cricket or Tricket?” disaster. Check us out, tell your friends, visit us at sportmantoe.tumblr.com.

For extra audio/video/picture mentioned on the show, and the episode itself, check our Tumblr: Sport Man Toe

Subscribe on iTunes:

Just click “view in iTunes” once you reach this link, and then ‘subscribe for free.’ If you liked the show and want to write a positive review, that would be a huge help.

Here are some other things:

Download the mp3 of this episode directly

RSS Feed

Here’s how to get in touch with us:

Podcast Twitter: @SportManToe

Spike Twitter: @SpikeFriedman

Shane twitter: @ShaneRyanHere

Email us your weird sports stories: Sportmantoe@gmail.com

Voicemail/Text: 765-38-SPORT (765-387-7678)

Protected: Hess Final

Shane — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 14:44:48 +0000

Sport Man Toe Episode 10: The Septuple Calamity

Shane — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 19:55:32 +0000

Today Spike is in the car, journeying from Seattle to San Francisco (the reverse of his ancestors), and we’re hitting all the noteworthy shit to happen in sports, from Jennifer Capriati’s stalker tendencies to rumors of an NFL player coming out, to a concept we invented called the Septuple Calamity. In the end, we all agree that Roger Goodell should be watching us in a Panopticon.

For extra audio/video/picture mentioned on the show, and the episode itself, check our Tumblr: Sport Man Toe

Subscribe on iTunes:

Just click “view in iTunes” once you reach this link, and then ‘subscribe for free.’ If you liked the show and want to write a positive review, that would be a huge help.

Here are some other things:

Download the mp3 of this episode directly

RSS Feed

Here’s how to get in touch with us:

Podcast Twitter: @SportManToe

Spike Twitter: @SpikeFriedman

Shane twitter: @ShaneRyanHere

Email us your weird sports stories: Sportmantoe@gmail.com

Voicemail/Text: 765-38-SPORT (765-387-7678)

You Merely Adopted the Dark, P.J. Hairston Was Born In It

Hunter Whitworth — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 17:10:46 +0000

The best part of any movie ever is that scene in the cemetery at the end of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Every aspect of film cooperates to deliver an inarguable three-minute snippet of pure genius: Tuco knows the location of the graveyard, but not the name on the headstone under which is buried a fortune in Confederate gold. Clint Eastwood knows the name, but up until this point did not know where the graveyard was. Every event in the film has been leading inexorably up to this point, and the greatest film score in history is playing behind it.

Similarly, the best part of college basketball is that scene at the end of the ACC regular season when Duke and UNC play, after the Wolfpack has faded back into regional obscurity (watch that clip again: symbolically, perhaps, a dog scurries away at 0:43). Every moment of the season has led us here, and various sundry other clichés. The stories, which have woven together like fine tapestries all year, finally take their place on the wall above the hearth of the 2012-13 season, etc. etc. bar-none the Finest Rivalry in Sports etc. etc.

Which all can and will be discussed by folks with better working knowledge of basketball and a more complete understanding of Tobacco Road history, so I’m going to focus on taking a bright spot on this years Carolina team and making it just a little bit brighter. We’re finally going to give P.J. Hairston what he deserves: a monochromatic animal nickname!

In 2010, Harrison Barnes rolled into Chapel Hill surrounded by a Tasmanian Devil tornado of hype, bearing the “Black Falcon” moniker. The story goes that he wanted a nom de guerre along the lines of Jordan’s “Black Cat” and Kobe’s “Black Mamba,” and someone who works for ESPN obliged him (the part about him wanting said nickname might make it invalid, though, based on my understanding of the rules of nicknaming).

In January of 2011, the creator and proprietor of this very website, the benevolent Odin to Tobacco Road Blues’ Asgard, dubbed Ryan Kelly “The White Raven,” which put him (intentionally or not) in binary opposition to Barnes, because Kelly had gone to Ravenscroft, a Raleigh school with a similarly passerine mascot.

Which brings us to now. With our Black Falcon gone, Duke’s White Raven stands as the only animal-man in the triangle, exploring the duality of light and dark, good and evil.

P.J. Hairston’s rise to popularity and overall excellence was predicted on this very website, and it is now time to bestow upon him such a nickname, to let him know he has arrived.

Firstly, is P.J. a bird? The answer is no. Does he soar? Sure, but he plays gritty, he plays low to the ground, he spends as much time sliding on the hardwood as he does gliding to the basket. P.J. plays yeoman’s basketball. He plays hurt and gets concussions, and absolutely he sinks those long three-balls, but he’ll rebound with players twice his height as well.

Secondly, does a White Raven even exist in nature? The answer is yes. The white-necked raven is indigenous to the mountainous regions of Southern Africa. It is a scavenging bird of prey, a scoundrel of the air. Most reasonable people dislike the white-necked raven.

Thirdly, does this real-life white raven have any natural predators, perhaps a non-avian one that could serve as a nice basis for Hairston’s very own nickname? Why yes, and thank you kindly for asking such a specific and leading question. The white-necked raven faces great danger from an animal called a Marten, which invades its nest and feasts upon the raven’s eggs. The Marten is a small but ferocious mammal, a close cousin to the badger as well as to the most accurate animal descriptor for Mr. Hairston: the wolverine.

So is he a wolverine of the light or a wolverine of the shadows? Is he Chapel Hill’s White Knight or is he Dean Dome Batman? I’ll answer that question with another question: when the White Raven is flying around, riding the thermals upward into the sky, what does he fear? Ryan Kelly will score lots of points on Saturday, I don’t think anyone has doubts about that. He’ll score lots of points and play phenomenal basketball and Duke will be the complete, excellent, terrifying unit that they were at the beginning of the season. But P.J. Hairston will do work, he’ll hit threes but he’ll also dive over scorers tables and scrap around under the paint and steal the ball from Seth Curry and get fouled about 17 times by Mason Plumlee, and he’ll exhibit great quantities of what they call grit. It might not be enough to win the Tar Heels the game, but at some point P.J. Hairston is going to sneak into the White Raven’s nest and eat some eggs.

P.J. Hairston is in the starting lineup now because he excelled in the shadows, and by becoming an idea he forced a mythologically obstinate man to change the way he coaches basketball.

He is the hero that UNC deserves and needs. A silent guardian. A watchful protector.

The Black Wolverine.

(Goosebumps, right? I got goosebumps)