Dear Jack,
Long time no talk! What’s up, brotherman? How you been? How was the trip to Maine? Talked to Dad lately? How’s the wife and kid, he reciting Shakespeare yet? But before we get into all that, there’s something urgent to catch up on: you and your alma mater ready to get your stingers handed to you Sunday?
Big words, I realize, considering how little recent success UNC has to stand on against the Bugs and their repetitive motion offense. Run, run, play-action run, run…and I’m not even trying to hear that Tech has come to embrace the advent of the forward pass in the last three weeks: even grinders get bored enough to throw after scoring 50 points. But I’ll take my chances this Saturday with the boys in Columbia Blue, as the color commentator for ESPN called them during the UNC-UVa game, to the bewilderment of his partner and the country as a whole below 110th St. on the West Side.*
*It’s a real school, with an actual football team. Marcellus Wiley admits to going there, and according to Wikipedia, Wiley “played tailback, defensive end, and kick returner for the Lions”. Yes, Columbia let a defensive end return kicks, and considered itself lucky.
I’m well aware that Tech’s been cruising this season against the likes of Western Carolina, Middle Tennessee State, Bleeding Kansas…we’ll see what happens when you take on a real defense. And I’m pretty sure that means us. We’ve been sailing through a dubiously impressive starting slate ourselves; not sure how Rutgers made it a two-point game and Virginia ran for 170 yards, but still think we are, or ought to be, one of the top defenses in the country.
Still, we’ve got a developing quarterback, inexperienced running backs, a new coach, and we just vacated freshman and sophomore years, so we’ll take what good news we can get. You guys, though, are just getting cocky: GT running back Embry Peeples said after the 66-25 demolition of Kansas, “When we’re making our blocks, it’s like a video game.” A Yellow Jacket video game, eh? Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon, presumably, of which one review said, “As long as you’re not expecting a deep, complex experience…Insect Armageddon is….campy, but enjoyable.” Enjoyable? For you, maybe. A pedestrian, simple-minded (albeit surprisingly destructive) mockery of real action- now that sounds like a Paul Johnson offense.
Rare photo of Yellow Jacket taking to the air
The problem with engineers is you’re so practical. Build a better mousetrap, and beauty be damned. But the Heels- especially our creative, free-slinging QB- insist upon artistry.
Which kind of makes me nervous. That artistry might be of the cut-your-own-ear-off variety, like the three picks two weeks ago against Rutgers. Nevertheless: gentleman’s bet on the game Sunday? And by “gentleman”, I mean a guy with a ten-spot burning a hole in his pocket.
Other than that, hope all is well. I would’ve liked to taunt you by phone, but we’ve been playing tag far too long, and it’s outmoded anyway. We’re playing blogtag now, and you’re it.
Love, your baby (blue) brother
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jesus, man, you almost got me rooting for those heels.
re; columbia – not only are those colors exactly the same, but the words “carolina” and “columbia” look too much alike for comfort. i spent my two years there constantly muttering violent epithets under my breath.