Hey Little Brother, Don’t Mind my Testicles on your Head

This past Friday, October 14, Duke had their official start to season with the Countdown to Craziness event.  From what I’ve read about the event Duke fans should be very excited by Seth Curry and surprisingly Quinn Cook.  Mason Plumlee has received poor reviews from internet message board basketball coaches while the eldest Plumlee has garnered rave reviews.  I ask myself how much I can trust the words of anonymous fans, but I sorely wish for Miles Plumlee to be a spectacular all-american center so I will trust the internet entirely.   When it comes to Mason Plumlee I will ignore anything bad anyone says about him and claim that he is a spectacular all-american power forward.  I haven’t read anything about Marshall Plumlee because I want to keep my image of him completely unblemished.  He will always be a goofy smiling, crayon eating and dunking machine to me.

By this point you’re probably asking yourself what the title of this post means.  So sit back, relax and watch this video for an explanation:

Imagine you are Marshall Plumlee getting dunked over by your big brother.  He was most definitely bullied into being a prop for Miles.  In the beginning Marshall tried to resist, but he caved into Miles demands after Miles flexed his massive biceps and ate gravel to show how manly he was.  Marshall knew the risks were high by getting dunked on, but he knows what will happen if he says no to Miles.  Saying no to Miles means sitting in the corner without crayons for days.  Marshall needs crayons to live.  Saying no was not an option.

After Miles jumped over Marshall and slammed the orange ball down Marshall breathed a huge sigh of relief.  He was smiling and laughing with the rest of the players in celebration, but it was reserved because he knew his relationship with his brother was forever altered when Miles’ genitalia briefly slapped his head.  Birthdays and Christmases will never be the same.  The entire dynamic of their relationship has shifted.  Miles was always the dominant person in their brotherhood just because he was the oldest.  However, this has solidified his dominant status through action.  Whenever the two of them converse from now on the atmosphere will be mildly strained because they know what happened.  It will be interesting to watch their future interactions on the basketball court.

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10 Responses to Hey Little Brother, Don’t Mind my Testicles on your Head

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  1. Jim Copland says:

    And here I thought this was a post about Danny Green and Greg Paulus….

    1. William says:

      That’s funny, I thought it was about Reggie Love.

  2. devilinside says:

    Can also throw in Dunleavey dropping the tea bags on jason capel while we’re at it.

    1. William says:

      Or Hansbrough over Dunleavy….while they were on the same team!

  3. Jake says:

    Hate to say it, but UNC wins the “testicles on head” contest any day.

    But Dahntay Jones wins the “pure man” award for this:

    1. William says:

      I thought for a minute this was going to be the video of him scratching Raymond Felton across the face. You know, since scratching another dude is so manly…

      Instead it’s the one where he commits an offensive foul by shoving the defender away with his off-hand, then obnoxiously does pushups while is foot is still on the guy’s chest. Dahntay Jones is one of the most classless dook players of all time and reason #1,372 why I hate the program.

  4. Jake says:
    1. William says:

      Dampier? Please. What NBA player hasn’t posterized Dampier?

      Do a simple YouTube search of “Dampier gets posterized”. There are 5 pages of different players making that guy look bad.


  5. Jake says:

    Oh, and here’s that Dunleavy on Capel video:

    1. William says:

      He hit him more on the side than a true teabagging, but an impressive dunk nonetheless.

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