OH GOD, IT’S HERE!

The season is here! The season is here! Sweet f#*$ing gobstoppers, the season is here! I’m going to climb a tree and fight a squirrel. I’m going to lecture the pavement. I’m going to dress up like a mailman, break into your house, and spray paint a mural of Coach K in your bathroom. Everything’s on the table here, man. EVERYTHING.

What a great day. And what a great weekend, with the NCAA tournament kicking off for most fall sports. Let’s take a look at what’s happening over the next few days. Beginning, of course, with the best sport in the history of the universe. (At least since they banned lion fighting.)

-Tonight, at 9pm, the Dukies take on Belmont. You might remember Belmont as the team that almost crushed our spirit in 2008 before Gerald Henderson saved us. The spirit was quickly crushed two days later by West Virginia, but hey, at least it wasn’t Belmont. I don’t know about this year’s team, guys. I’m not feeling that No. 6 ranking right now, though I do hope I’m wrong. But where’s the scoring coming from against the good defenses? One-on-one play from Austin Rivers, and the occasional Curry hot streak? As much as Duke ever has a rebuilding year, I think this is it.

-Earlier, at 7pm, UNC is playing Michigan State on a BOAT. Here’s what I hate about this: why is the boat docked? That’s right, docked. Seriously, what is the purpose of playing on an aircraft carrier if it’s not at least going to cruise around the bay? I mean, damn, the boat might as well be in the middle of Kansas. This is like saying you’re playing on ice whenever you play at Madison Square Garden. Yeah, there’s ice somewhere under there, but come on. Anyway, not only will this let us see the greatest collection of basketball talent ever assembled on one team, but it’ll also give us an indication of what Duke faces when Coach K tries to break Knight’s record against the Spartans next week.

-Tomorrow, at Fetzer Field, the UNC women play their first round NCAA game against William & Mary. It’s been a relatively tough year for the Heels, and William & Mary actually drew against Duke in an exhibition earlier this season. Carolina will be the favorite, but I’m going and expecting just about anything. 2pm.

-Sunday, at 2pm, Duke hosts Radford in its first round match. The Blue Devils are one of three 1-seeds from the ACC (FSU and Wake are the others), and they should be able to handle Radford with relative ease.

-Tonight, in the semifinals of the ACC tournament, UNC will meet Virginia at 5:30 and Duke will take on Boston College at 7:30. Here are the highlights from Duke’s 0-0 tie against Clemson in the quarterfinals, after which Duke advanced 5-4 on penalties. It looks like an insanely fun game where both teams had a lot of chances. But guys, if you’re going to make a highlight video of a game that went to penalty kicks, is there one particular element you think you should definitely include?

-Tomorrow morning, top-ranked UNC kicks off the NCAA field hockey tournament against Ohio at home. Duke plays Stanford in Norfolk, Virginia. Potential great match-up the next day if Duke meets No. 2 Old Dominion in the quarterfinals.

Triangle Prophets coming this afternoon! Life is good. Happy Birthday, Emily.