Mighty Morphin Southeastern Conference

The SEC has become the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Every kid from the 90’s remembers the Power Rangers – the average (and oh so perfectly diverse) group of high schoolers who were given super powers to protect the world from alien monsters.

Either you were still young enough to openly enjoy the weird Godzilla-esqe fight scenes or you sneakily watched them because you thought the Pink Ranger was cute.

Wether you admit it or not, you watched the Power Rangers.

As you well remember, in every episode the Rangers would be getting beat down by the random monster of the week. The monster would grow to giant size. The Power Rangers would call out their Voltron rip-off “zords” that would join together to become the Megazord and win the battle.

This is now the SEC.

Power Rangers SEC

Go, go Southeastern Conference! You Mighty Morphin Southeastern Conference!

If it was ever in doubt, the transformation from a healthy sense of unity among the fans to a full blown conference communism was evident after Alabama destroyed Notre Dame and all their dead imaginary girlfriends in the national championship.

Ole Miss and Georgia fans seemed more excited about the win than actual Crimson Tide fans. They were sure more thrilled than Nick Saban.

The only persons who talk about conference accomplishments more than team accomplishments are conference commissioners and SEC fans. The fact that there is such a thing as an “SEC fan” is absurd to me.

Every school in the conference claims a piece of every victory and dismisses every loss with a mention of another school’s win.

Florida fan: “Sure we were embarrassed by Louisville in Sugar Bowl, but did you see Alabama?”

Georgia fan: “Yeah, we are horrible in basketball, but Kentucky won the national championship.”

Every other SEC school: “Perhaps we have some students who are not the brightest, but look over there – It’s Vanderbilt! They’re all smart and stuff.”

Auburn fan: “Maybe we did fall off the face of the college football universe after Cam Newton left, but we have been saving up for our next star quarterback.”

OK, maybe that last one is all on Auburn. But, what enables Mississippi State to hook their dented up little red wagon to Alabama’s shiny red sports car and claim to be a part of dominating college football?

Some teams have reason to be excited about their season. Other teams … not so much. Even in the vaunted SEC.

Who decided that they all get to combine their powers to become the MegaConference, where individual weaknesses are ignored for combined conference strength?

As a Duke fan, the only rooting interests I have in the ACC are directly tied to the Blue Devils. I want the conference to survive the chaos of expansion and I want Duke’s conference wins to have value. That’s it.

I vaguely cheer for ACC schools (besides Carolina and Maryland, who won’t be an ACC school for long anyway), but I don’t tweet off insults to my SEC friends when Kentucky loses a basketball game. I’m wasn’t talking trash on Facebook after Louisville manhandled Florida.

Some SEC fans need to wake up from their Saturday morning cartoons and face reality. You are not great at everything. Some schools dominate football. Other schools have great basketball traditions. A few schools are along for the ride.
As a fan, you have to take the good with the bad for your team. You can’t trade out your losing in a mid-December bowl game for Alabama’s BCS title. There is no taking on Kentucky’s national championship for your first round loss in the NIT.

Welcome to life of a college sports fan outside the SEC.

If an SEC fan does stumble across this post, I’m sure he will be offended. But let me say this to you, SEC fan.

Yes, I am mocking the conference by calling it the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, but it could be worse. I could have called it Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

Captain Planet SEC

With our powers combined, we are Captain SEC!

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