Top 15 Moments from the Duke Football Media Guide

You can view the guide here. Also, I’m sort of doing this as I go through it, so there’s a good chance that #1 won’t be any more compelling than #15. If it is, though, it’s because I planned it all along. Now then, as I imagine Cutcliffe says in the most badass way possible: let’s roll.

Cutcliffe means 'motivation' in some foreign tongue

15. Pronunciation

From the Player Pronunciation Guide:

Patrick KURUNWUNE – cuh-ROON-WOO-nay

Is it me, or does this not help at all? How the hell are you supposed to emphasize two consecutive syllables? Whenever I try it, I sound like a barking dog. Seriously, give it a shot. ROON-WOO! He’s the 5th-string running back, by the way. God, I hope we get some ROON-WOO action this year.


From the player bio section on kicker Paul Asack:

father lettered three seasons (1968-69-70) in football at Duke and was a fifth round selection of the San Diego Chargers in the 1971 NFL Draft…brother, Zack, lettered three seasons (2005, 07-08) in football at Duke.

Holy shit, a family dynasty! And a kicking family dynasty, of all things! I didn’t even know about this, but now I’m not sure where this program would be without the  Asack family. Also, can we have a moment of sympathy for his brother, Zack Asack? Hey, I’m all for humor, Asack parents, but I’m not sure the birth certificate is the right place for it.

13. More Family

From the player bio of Will Boeckman:

cousin, Todd Boeckman, lettered as a quarterback (2005-06-07-08) at
Ohio State.

Whoa, I remember that guy! Looks like he lost his job to Terrelle Pryor after being all- Big 10 in 2007, but still, he was legit. I bet he has some great stories about what a douche Pryor is.

12. The Future

From the bio of redshirt freshman and 3rd string quarterback Anthony Boone. Bear with me and read the whole thing.

Reserve quarterback … could compete for playing time … natural quarterback … owns the
strongest arm of Duke’s signal-callers … displayed ability to make plays during spring drills
… powerful runner … in the annual Spring Game, helped the White unit to a 21-14 win by
completing seven-of-15 passes for 94 yards including the game-winning 32-yard touchdown
toss to Tyree Watkins … added 31 rushing yards on fi ve carries … led Blue Devil quarter-
backs in both the squat lift (445 lbs.) and power clean (280 lbs.) during the program’s post-
spring weightlifting evaluation.

Lettered four seasons at Weddington High School under coaches Ed Susi (2006), Phil Wil-
liams (2007-08) and Justin Hardin (2009) … helped team to state playoff appearances in
2006 and 2009 … listed as the 37th-top quarterback in the nation by … charted
as the 49th-best quarterback in the country and the 25th-top overall prospect in North Carolina by … as a senior, passed for 1,530 yards and 13 TDs while rushing for 780 yards and 11 TDs … in junior campaign, threw for 1,400 yards and 12 TDs while rushing for 1,000 yards and 11 TDs … passed for 1,649 yards and 12 TDs while rushing for 860 yards and 11 TDs as a sophomore … had 789 yards passing with four TDs and 1,002 yards rushing with seven TDs during freshman season … fi nished prep career with 9,010 yards of total offense, rushing for 3,642 yards and passing for 5,368 yards … accounted for 81 total TDs (41 passing & 40 rushing) in high school career … four-time all-conference and all-county selection … also lettered in baseball … earned all-conference and all-county honors on the diamond.

Good God, anyone else excited for the Anthony Boone era??

11. Cliches

From linebacker Kelby Brown’s bio:

has a nose for the football.

I wonder how they measure that? Can he literally smell the leather? Did his parents train him like a dog when he was young? Does he close his eyes during a play and literally let his sense of smell take over? Because that would be terrifying and awesome. Although I bet sometimes the other players would spray something on their jerseys that smelled like leather, and he’d sort of chase them all around the field while the play was going on.

10. Easy, Stupid Jokes

From redshirt freshman reserve nose guard Will Bryant’s bio:

Son of Sacy and Charles Bryant.

Looks like his mom is missing a “t.” I guess it shouldn’t come as any surprise that her son’s got no D.


9. Easy, Stupid Jokes, Part 2

We have a freshman cornerback named Tim Burton, but it doesn’t mention anything about his penchant for creepy, creepy art.

8. Attendance

From Cutcliffe’s bio:

Duke’s fan support has also increased since Cutcliffe took the helm of the
gridiron program.  In his fi rst season, Duke set a school single-season record with
four home crowds of 30,000 or more spectators.  Eight of Duke’s 20 home dates in
the Cutcliffe Era have reached 30,000 fans — compared to just four of the previous
47 home games prior to his arrival.  In 2010, Duke established a school record for
attendance with 201,248 total spectators at Wallace Wade Stadium.

Reason number 3,035 to love Cutcliffe – the kids actually care again. On the other hand, I think more than three wins were expected last season, and the love affair (and the attendance) will end unless he manages to put together six wins this season. Or, failing that, the team needs a dramatic win at home against a ranked opponent. Personality and excitement are good for three years, but now he has his own players. It’s go time, Cutty!

7. Shivers

From Cutty’s bio, again:

Cutcliffe is married to the former Karen Oran of Harriman, Tenn., and they have
four children (Chris, Marcus, Katie and Emily) one daughter-in-law (Molly) and one
grandson (Shivers).

I so, so badly want to be present at the conversation where Molly and either Chris and Marcus had the conversation about possibly naming their child ‘shivers.’ This is how I imagine it going.

Chris/Marcus: I just think ‘Shaun’ is a really good, solid name.

Molly: But I want to name him after my favorite singer, Rivers Cuomo!

Chris/Marcus: Can we compromise and combine the names?

Molly: Rhaun?


Unborn baby: Oh, come on!


“When it comes to David Cutcliffe, the record speaks for itself: Five winning sea-
sons in six years at Ole Miss; two No. 1 overall picks in the NFL Draft; a national
reputation that is second to none when it comes to developing quarterbacks and
great offenses. After a year out of coaching followed by two years at Tennessee,
David Cutcliffe is smarter, hungrier, and more than ready to be a head coach
again. Duke is getting David at the best possible time in his life and in his career.
He will bring an excitement to Duke football that it has not seen since the days of
Steve Spurrier.”
— Tony Barnhart, Atlanta Journal-Constitution/CBS

“Wait, take out ‘hungrier.’ I don’t want him to think I’m making a fat joke. Actually, no, leave it in. Maybe I am making a fat joke.”

5. More quotes

“The greatest thing about Coach Cutcliffe is his ability to teach the game of football.  
He works so well with quarterbacks in particular, and teaches you how to lead your
team from that position.  He works hard, is dedicated and has a passion for winning.  
I know his teams will be well prepared for anything that happens in a game.”
— Eli Manning, QB, New York Giants

“He also taught me how to blame everyone else when I throw a pass 10 yards over the nearest receiver’s head.”

4. Badasses

This is a picture of special teams coach Ron Middleton:

Fuck with this dude at your own peril, my friends. For the record, he was a tight end for Auburn and won a Super Bowl in 1992 as a starter with the Redskins. No relation to Kate Middleton.

3. Ivy Cred

From the bio of defensive coordinator Jim Knowles, a former head coach at Cornell:

In his first season at the helm of the Big Red program, Knowles turned a 1-9
squad that lost seven games by at least two touchdowns into a 4-6 unit that went
4-3 in conference play and lost all six contests by 10 points or less.  Cornell’s 2004
squad became the fi rst team in Ivy League history to go from zero conference wins
to a winning league slate in just one season.  Under Knowles, Cornell posted three
consecutive seasons (2005-06-07) at .500 or better for the first time since 1990-
91-92 and, in 2007, enjoyed a stretch of scoring 30 or more points in four straight
games for the first time since 1921 while home attendance nearly doubled from
the 2006 campaign.

Already love him. Anyone who can get Cornell- least athletic of a pretty unathletic conference (with the possible exception of Columbia)- psyched about football is good by me.

2. Quality Control

Shaun Sarrett and Drew Dayton both hold a position called “quality control.” One is on defense, and one is on offense. Doesn’t that sound sinister? Quality control. I’m just guessing here, but I think it means that if anyone underperforms, those are the guys who shoot them.

1. The Greatest Game of 2010

From the game recaps section:

*Duke and Wake Forest combined for 987 yards and 102 points and the Demon
Deacons came away with a 54-48 victory in front of 31,673 rain-soaked fans at
BB&T Field in Winston-Salem, N.C.

I remember watching this game and thinking, this might be the last game either team comes close to winning. There was absolutely no defense, to the point that it was comical. I was wrong, though- Duke won two more games (by 3 over Navy, by 7 over Virginia), and Wake Forest lost nine games in a row before beating Vanderbilt in the last game of the year.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s preview, Wake has now beaten Duke 11 games in a row. When we destroy them this year, in Durham on October 22, we’ll remember this game and laugh. Go Devils!

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10 Responses to Top 15 Moments from the Duke Football Media Guide

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  1. daniel says:

    re: shivers

    i love making this joke during every nfl game.

    jermichael finley’s father: i want our son to be named jermaine.
    jermichael finley’s mother: yes, but, i want to name him michael.
    jermichael finley’s father: IT IS DECIDED. the boy will be named jermichael.

    1. Nate says:

      My favorite: Ben-Jarvus Green-Ellis. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up.

    2. Shane says:

      Exactly, Daniel. The bets names always come from this method.

  2. nan says:

    i did a little google search, just because… and “Shivers” is mother Molly’s maiden name. though some maiden names should not become first names.

    1. Shane says:

      Wow, nan, great work. Really great stuff. Can I hire you stalk some people? I am impressed. But yeah, damn, shivers? Let it go. Use it as a middle name, guys.

      1. daniel says:

        it could be one of those things where like his first name is his dad’s name (chris/marcus) and his middle name is his mom’s maiden name and they just call him by his middle name. eg: steve forbes’ full name is malcolm stevenson forbes, because his dad was malcolm forbes and his mom’s family was the stevensons. also, i think dan quayle (john danforth quayle) is this way. don’t worry, it’s not just failed republican politicians who do this.

        1. nan says:

          chris is the dad.

        2. Carrie says:

          But soooort of funny to keep the slash-game up of Chris/Marcus’s son. WHOSE son IS Shivers? Just like completely manifest inter-family drama right here on TRB. I’m sure you could have made your mark steadily, Shane, but completely fabricated juicy rumors are much quicker.

  3. Olivia says:

    well arent yall rude. I think that shivers is an adorable name!! its molly’s maiden name and its unique so be nice!! and also chris is the dad

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