The Triangle’s Creepiest Twitter Account – Nominee

Two weeks ago, after Kealia Ohai scored a pretty amazing goal against Houston (that link is just a recap- there is unfortunately no video, but you can see another great strike here), I looked to see if she was on twitter.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t, but my search produced another account. An account that made me laugh at first, but now kinda gives me the willies. Now I turn to my readers for their judgment; is this A-okay, slightly strange but no big deal, or off-the-wall bizarre? I present to you:


Now, let’s go over the facts. Nothing but the facts.

1 – This is not Kealia Ohai, as we see from the description: I’m Kealia Ohai’s legs and I can kick your ass anytime! Not a poser, just a fan! Go TAR HEELS! Also USWNT & WPS Fan. (I think WPS is women’s postal service. Didn’t even know they had their own, to be honest.)

2 – The background of the page is, as you might expect, a picture of Kealia Ohai’s legs.

3 – There have only been 17 tweets, but man, a few of those were “gems.” Let’s review.

Tweet #2“You are never too old to enjoy a great day at the playground :)”

On a scale of one to terrifying, I just peed my pants.

Tweet #7@kriegerstattoo @germexican08 @k8Chase @WambachNation @HopesBitchFace @CR_Knight13 @w1ndyy @AlexMorgan_13 can u follow me back?

These seem to be a mixture of players, fan accounts, and even one (HopesBitchFace, about goalkeeper Hope Solo) that seems pretty much in the same vein as KealiaOhaisLegs. We’re entering a universe I don’t like, gang. Three similar ‘can u follow me back’ tweets followed this one.

Tweet #15long night makes for a long day!

“Plus, my eyes are tired from staring through those darn binoculars!”

Tweet #17On My Mama On My Hood! I look fly! I look good! Touch My Swag! Wish you could! That’s right be jealous!

These turned out to be lyrics to this song, thank goodness. But I would like to note that the first lyric is “oh my mama.” Not “on my mama.” Kind of a major deal.

So, I don’t know. What do you think? Is this as stalky as it seems, or perhaps just a really big fan who could use some image lessons? It kinda makes a difference whether it’s a guy or girl, doesn’t it?

Overall, I give it a 8.2/10 on the creep scale. On the other hand, it did inspire me to conceive a twitter account of my own: Kendall Marshall’s Captivating Eyes. Please, nobody take that before I have a chance to register.

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