The Optipessimist Week One: UNC-JMU

First off, I would like to highlight for all the UNC readers out there that Duke lost to Richmond. I will repeat that, since it makes me slightly giddy every time I do. Duke lost to Richmond! HAH! This is amazing not only because Duke lost to RICHMOND, but also because it means I get to read Angry Shane posts, something I have yet to see on TRB.

I'm expecting greatness, Shane.

Okay. Onto the game. Everything said below this line has to be taken with a grain of salt, because Carolina’s opponent was James Madison University. And this wasn’t the same JMU that knocked off Virginia Tech in their opener; this was a pretty bad iteration of JMU. You’ll see why.

Without further ado, I’d like to debut my post-game feature: Optipessimism. Over the next ten weeks, I’m going to try my hardest to make this into a real word, which I define as the tendency to follow any positive statement with an immediate qualifier. According to my mother, I might be the most effective optipessimist in the world. “CAN’T YOU EVER JUST SAY ANYTHING GOOD!?” Brutal.

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The Duke Football Essay Project: Game 1, Richmond

On Duke’s second play from scrimmage, junior quarterback Sean Renfree took one step back, tripped, and hit the ground. Whistles blew, fans murmured. Too early to be disappointed.

I sent my stepfather, back in New York, a text:

Our qb fell over. Second play. Bad omen?

It turned out he’d been watching on his computer. Within a minute, I had a response:

I thought he looked good falling.

*

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The Triangle Prophets, Week One

Every Friday, a group of fearless webmasters and sports fanatics from around the Triangle will gather to predict five college football games against the spread. Every Duke, Carolina, and N.C. State game will be featured, along with a smattering of high profile non-Triangle games. As the season goes along, we’ll keep the standings updated and see who emerges as the one true prophet. Make your predictions in the comment section. Every week, we’ll feature any and all commenters who pick all 5 games correctly.

The Prophets

1. Jim Young, Editor, ACCSports.com

2. John Watson, The Devil’s Den

3. James Henderson, Publisher, Pack Pride

4. Tar Heel Fan Blog

5. Me*

6. The Devil Wolf, Duke football correspondent, TRB

7. Nate Friedman, UNC football correspondent, TRB

8. William Earnhardt, Site Designer, UNC football junkie, TRB

*Believe me, that joke was not worth the google image search. I should know better.

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The Top 15 Moments from the UNC Foootball Media Guide

You can view the guide here. As with the Duke version of the top 15, I’ll be doing this as I go along, so there’s a good chance that #1 won’t be any more compelling than #15. Let’s get it started with a picture of UNC’s new coach, “Sir” Everett Withers.

I was born in 1963 in Charlotte, NC, but my name was born in 1732 in Yorkshire, England

15. Oops!

From the 2011 schedule page:

Oct. 22 – at Clemson – first game at Clemson under head coach Butch Davis

(PR people scuffle around) Ha! Um, funny story… (muffled shouting, sounds of paper crumpling) I’m glad you asked! Just, uh, just give us a minute here… (gunshot)

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The TRB Comments of the Week!

Later today, we’ll get to the UNC media guide top 15 and introduce a new prediction feature. For now, it’s the COMMENTS OF THE WEEK, a neglected feature that should have run earlier.

Every week, more or less, we’ll be choosing one comment from the previous week that made our hearts swell with joy, pride, or love. Then we’ll be choosing another that made the rest of our organs swell with shame, hilarity, or disgust. All comments are printed as written.

Positive

Both comments this week come from the Rivalry post, which asked whether Duke and UNC fans would like to see the teams meet in the NCAA tournament. The overwhelming majority of responses, on the post and on twitter, were ‘hell no.’ Nobody wanted the stress, and nobody wanted to accept the awful possibility of losing. Then Andrew put on his badass goggles and took us all to task:

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Top 15 Moments from the Duke Football Media Guide

You can view the guide here. Also, I’m sort of doing this as I go through it, so there’s a good chance that #1 won’t be any more compelling than #15. If it is, though, it’s because I planned it all along. Now then, as I imagine Cutcliffe says in the most badass way possible: let’s roll.

Cutcliffe means 'motivation' in some foreign tongue

15. Pronunciation

From the Player Pronunciation Guide:

Patrick KURUNWUNE – cuh-ROON-WOO-nay

Is it me, or does this not help at all? How the hell are you supposed to emphasize two consecutive syllables? Whenever I try it, I sound like a barking dog. Seriously, give it a shot. ROON-WOO! He’s the 5th-string running back, by the way. God, I hope we get some ROON-WOO action this year.

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Happy College Football Kickoff!

Coming later this morning and this afternoon, we’ll be looking at the top 15 moments in the 2011 version of the Duke and UNC football media guides.

For now, check out the season previews: Duke and UNC. This is truly one of the best days of the year. Plus, good riddance to August! Even when we feel like the summer won’t end, we must always keep in mind the persistence of football.

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Duke Football Preview: Talking Myself Into a National Title

Coach David Cutcliffe, one of the great personalities in college football, is now entering his fourth year at the helm. In his first year, he won four games, tying the school’s best record since 1994. In 2009, he came within a Wake Forest win of leading Duke to its first bowl game since 1995.* Last year, Duke had a slight dip to 3-9, but four of those losses were by six points or less.

*A loss in the Hall of Fame Bowl to Wisconsin. The last time Duke won a bowl game was in 1961, a 7-6 win over Arkansas in the Cotton Bowl.

This year, I think Cutty is ready to finally get over the hump. And I don’t just mean the Bowl Game hump. I think he’s ready to win a national title.

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Responding to Spam Comments

WordPress does a great job filtering out spam comments, but sometimes we think it’s good to let them know we still appreciate their efforts. With that in mind, here are some featured spam comments from the past week. For better or worse, these are all real.

Keep up this good work, you have a nice blog over here with much good information! When you post some new stuff, I’ll visit your blog again and I’ll follow it.
-sexdate

Thanks Sexdate! That sounds like a pretty typical behavior pattern for a person on the internet! I’m glad you’ll be applying it to this site!

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Rivalry Question of the Week: Dookies versus Tar Holes

This week’s question is inspired by an email from Dan, who writes:

It’d be great if you write about the nicknames some time. I’m particularly interested in “dook.” I don’t know anyone from Duke who finds it insulting, or even annoying, but many UNC fans seem to treat it as a real “gotcha” stinger.

And also by a g-chat with William:

William: you should do a follow up to the dook fighting post about the heels fighting styles.
William: haha, sorry, i always spell it dook out of habit.

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